Monday, May 5, 2008

How to frak your next digital camera purchase

Frakking up your next digital camera purchase is not an easy task. There are many fail-safes that may prevent you from doing so. But fear not, we are going to help you in this DIY post, with simple easy to follow steps :) Here we go...

1. Pick the digital camera that has the best image quality in the dpreview paper-clip studio test, regardless of all other factors. Especially if you are a commercial paper-clip photographer.

2. Don't let real world considerations distract you. Focus on the spec sheets when making a purchase decision, and everything else will fall into place.

3. Be environmentally conscious, think of all the puppies and the kittens you will be saving! Ask your seller to ship your new camera in a grocery bag!

4. Buy from the retailer with the lowest possible price regardless! Regardless! Don't let those naysayers and Debbie Downers scare you!

5. Buy from the retailer that is the farthest away from your home or office, and be sure to pick the slowest and cheapest shipping method, preferably without insurance or warranty. Don't forget to remind them that they could also use USPS Bulk Mail or other forms of second class mail!

6. Don't let those eBay deals get by you! Be sure to buy from the person who just registered ten minutes ago, has zero or negative feedback and is selling a camera at a tenth of its going price, and offers to deliver it in person at 3am in a dark alley where the streets have no name.

7. Be sure to get a camera that has more megapixels than the cameras your brother-in-law, office-mate, neighbor, rival, and gym partner have. More is important, the same number of megapixels just won't cut it! And don't even think about less!

8. And don't forget the mother-in-law rule of thumb: Your camera must have at least twice as many megapixels as your mother-in-law's camera. Three times as many if you plan to say "No" to whatever she demands at Thanksgiving. Pixel-courage can get you a long way.

Oops, forgot to mention, if you are not familiar with the word "frak", here is an explanation :)


prophotolife said...

That's easily the funniest frakkin' post I've seen! I had to read it's like a year's worth of photo humor jammed into one post. - jim t.

1001 noisy cameras said...

Thanks :-) I'm glad you liked it!